Relationships require work—however, the rewards make it worthwhile. Whether it’s a business relationship or a personal one, here are some ways to connect more deeply in an increasingly digital world. You will find that many can be practiced in the real world as well. Even as things become more digital and robots take over jobs, the meaningful work of the future will involve connecting and getting along with each other. In a word, we’ll need to build RELATIONSHIPS. 

1. Be Seen and Smile

Over the last two years we’ve been asked to social distance from each other and wear masks that cover the most valuable asset we have when it comes to connecting with each other…our smile. 

At Konabos, even though we predominantly work remotely and don’t see each other, or our clients in person, we have a policy to turn on video when meeting online. This allows us to “see and be seen” and to share a smile. 

I remember when I would take my youngest daughter in her stroller and she would smile and wave at people all the time, and immediately their countenance would change. They would smile and wave back and often stop for a quick conversation. Let’s remember to be seen and smile. 

2. See Others

In a world where selfies and a desire for personal branding are among many people’s priorities, it’s rare to find people that are genuinely interested in other people. In many gatherings, you will find people are more interested in their cell phones than the people with whom they’ve gathered. 

Be different. Be completely present in gatherings, virtual meetings, webinars, and as mentioned above, put your video on, remove all distractions (e.g. your phone, your calendar, other work) and look people in the eye and observe.  

Engage by actively listening and acknowledging people’s presence and participating in the conversation. Ask questions and share relevant information that helps build rapport, trust, and understanding. Seeing others is a great way to deepen human connection because many people go unseen and under-appreciated.  

As a business you can “see your customers” by implementing personalization in many content management systems and marketing technology products available today. 

3. Truly Care

I’ve often heard the refrain, “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care”. However, what does it mean to truly care? Caring is simply doing what is best for others with the right motives.  

In building relationships and deepening connections, truly caring will come across in our conversations and our actions. In conversation; paying attention, or what is called “actively listening”, is not just about hearing the words and waiting to respond with an answer or solution, but about hearing the heart’s intentions and gaining understanding of another person’s perspective.  

Once you’ve “heard the heart”, a truly caring response is one that is motivated to do what’s best for the relationship, without making assumptions or judgments. This applies in business as well as our personal lives.  

Have you ever sent a text or an email that was totally misconstrued and or misunderstood? I know I have. When this happens, quickly apologizing and providing clarity is a fast remedy and shows that you care.  

Knowing that someone truly cares, deepens your level of trust and connection with them.

4. Be Helpful 

Gandhi is quoted as saying, “be the change you want to see in the world” or said another way, “actions speak louder than words.” In the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, one way we receive and give love is through “Acts of Service”; the keyword being “acts”. If you hear or see something online, and there is an opportunity to deepen your connection through an act of service or by being helpful, be like Nike and Just DO It. For example, you can provide a solution to a problem in a forum, share your story in a podcast, send an unexpected gift, or donate your time, expertise, or money to a worthy project that aligns with your beliefs. It doesn’t have to be big it just has to be genuine. 

This past Christmas, Konabos sent everyone within the company their own personalized coffee mug with their caricature on them. It didn’t matter if you were new to the company or had been with them from the beginning. Konabos, cares deeply about its relationships and connections and demonstrated it by sending the mugs. 

5. Be Intentional 

If you think about any deep relationship or connection you have today, it is probably predicated and built on intentionally spending time together.  

Although we have more ways to connect today it seems we connect less and less by keeping busy in our own worlds doing our own things. Today, if you want to build deeper connections, you have to be intentional and schedule times to connect with others.  

It may be painful at first, but it also works if you are trying to get your teenage children to come out of their rooms and away from their screens. I have a friend that even schedules online calls with their kids since that is where they are most comfortable.